Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you’re responsible for an essential part of your relationship: its’ reputation! What do others think of your relationship: Do they envy your bond or do they know about every nasty fight you’ve ever had?
One of the most relationship-damaging practices you can engage in is complaining about your partner to your family and friends. They’re going to have your best interest at heart and if they feel like your partner is upsetting you, their opinion of them, and your relationship, will get very negative, very fast. They’re bias and so are you, it’s likely you’re only sharing your view and omitting your wrong doings. These people really care about you, if you’re wrong for each other, your inner circle will know (and probably have no problem telling you) even without you sharing every ugly detail. Don’t complain for the sake of complaining.
Feelings of pain and hurt can get overwhelming – talk to a therapist or journal, but don’t air your dirty relationship laundry for everyone to see. You should never forget what team you’re playing on. You might work through your problem, but they’ll remember your pain and unhappiness as a characteristic of your relationship. Think of the harm it can cause your relationship when people start suggesting you break up. Trust me, it won’t do your relationship any good if your mama hates your man!
(I’d like to add a disclaimer that I’m referring to common, every-day disagreements and problems that exist in all relationships. I am not suggesting that you should not talk about upsetting things, just to be conscious of how the things you say could influence how others think about your relationship, and to choose your audience wisely. Obviously, if you’re experiencing a more serious relationship issue, such as domestic violence, chronic infidelity, a partner with addiction, or any situation that is harmful to you, please get help as soon as possible from any resource available to you.)
One of the most relationship-damaging practices you can engage in is complaining about your partner to your family and friends. They’re going to have your best interest at heart and if they feel like your partner is upsetting you, their opinion of them, and your relationship, will get very negative, very fast. They’re bias and so are you, it’s likely you’re only sharing your view and omitting your wrong doings. These people really care about you, if you’re wrong for each other, your inner circle will know (and probably have no problem telling you) even without you sharing every ugly detail. Don’t complain for the sake of complaining.
Feelings of pain and hurt can get overwhelming – talk to a therapist or journal, but don’t air your dirty relationship laundry for everyone to see. You should never forget what team you’re playing on. You might work through your problem, but they’ll remember your pain and unhappiness as a characteristic of your relationship. Think of the harm it can cause your relationship when people start suggesting you break up. Trust me, it won’t do your relationship any good if your mama hates your man!
(I’d like to add a disclaimer that I’m referring to common, every-day disagreements and problems that exist in all relationships. I am not suggesting that you should not talk about upsetting things, just to be conscious of how the things you say could influence how others think about your relationship, and to choose your audience wisely. Obviously, if you’re experiencing a more serious relationship issue, such as domestic violence, chronic infidelity, a partner with addiction, or any situation that is harmful to you, please get help as soon as possible from any resource available to you.)