By Madlen Pashinian
Whether you’re going through a break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or you’re going through a divorce, breakups could be extremely painful and heartbreaking. We could feel betrayal, heart ache, sadness or even feel like it will never be ok. We can feel so many things at the same time, it is hard to really think clearly and know what are the right things to do. So what can we do? How can we recover from a break up or a divorce?
First, we need to allow ourselves to really feel and accept what has happened. Often, we try to deny or even rationalize the break up. We begin to make excuses or even tell ourselves that there was something we could have done, or if we change then maybe we can have the person back in our lives. However, after a few failed attempts to mend things, we quickly realize that the break up is here to stay. Don’t sit and reminisce about the good times in your relationship, recognize the bad times, and remember how hard the fights were, or how hurt you used to feel.
The best thing to do after a break up is to take all of that energy and focus on mending things, and turning them towards rebuilding ourselves. Begin focusing on re-loving yourself and putting yourself first. Breakups can make us feel broken inside, so the best thing to do is rebuild ourselves to who we used to be or who we strive to be. Spend some time with good / caring friends, and stay away from talking about how to get back with your ex, or what others are saying about your ex. This is
YOUR time now, talk about what YOU are up to. And I can’t stress this enough but this is the time for you to be SELFISH! Do some new activities you have always wanted to try, take up exercise even if it’s a 15-minute walk, rearrange your closet and donate some old clothes that you don’t wear anymore. Do at least one selfish thing a day, because you deserve it!
Lastly, I know this one will be hard but… cut off all communications with your ex completely! I know this may be hard for people who have children with their ex, and with this situation, keep the contact to extreme minimum. You don’t owe anyone anything right now except yourself. You need time to completely heal from the break up, and when the time if right, you can (if you want) have a civil relationship with them. Don’t stalk them on social media and try to see what they are up to, don’t make excused to call or “run into” them, don’t ask their friends about how they are doing, just focus on you!
Break ups are hard, but trust me, you will get through this and you will learn
something very valuable about yourself in the end!
Whether you’re going through a break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or you’re going through a divorce, breakups could be extremely painful and heartbreaking. We could feel betrayal, heart ache, sadness or even feel like it will never be ok. We can feel so many things at the same time, it is hard to really think clearly and know what are the right things to do. So what can we do? How can we recover from a break up or a divorce?
First, we need to allow ourselves to really feel and accept what has happened. Often, we try to deny or even rationalize the break up. We begin to make excuses or even tell ourselves that there was something we could have done, or if we change then maybe we can have the person back in our lives. However, after a few failed attempts to mend things, we quickly realize that the break up is here to stay. Don’t sit and reminisce about the good times in your relationship, recognize the bad times, and remember how hard the fights were, or how hurt you used to feel.
The best thing to do after a break up is to take all of that energy and focus on mending things, and turning them towards rebuilding ourselves. Begin focusing on re-loving yourself and putting yourself first. Breakups can make us feel broken inside, so the best thing to do is rebuild ourselves to who we used to be or who we strive to be. Spend some time with good / caring friends, and stay away from talking about how to get back with your ex, or what others are saying about your ex. This is
YOUR time now, talk about what YOU are up to. And I can’t stress this enough but this is the time for you to be SELFISH! Do some new activities you have always wanted to try, take up exercise even if it’s a 15-minute walk, rearrange your closet and donate some old clothes that you don’t wear anymore. Do at least one selfish thing a day, because you deserve it!
Lastly, I know this one will be hard but… cut off all communications with your ex completely! I know this may be hard for people who have children with their ex, and with this situation, keep the contact to extreme minimum. You don’t owe anyone anything right now except yourself. You need time to completely heal from the break up, and when the time if right, you can (if you want) have a civil relationship with them. Don’t stalk them on social media and try to see what they are up to, don’t make excused to call or “run into” them, don’t ask their friends about how they are doing, just focus on you!
Break ups are hard, but trust me, you will get through this and you will learn
something very valuable about yourself in the end!