By Madlen Pashinian
What would you give in order to successfully communicate with your child or adolescent? Sometimes, talking to your child feels like you’re talking to a wall, going into a battle field where you are on opposite sides, instead of a team. We all know the communication with your children is key to trust, love and an overall healthy relationship.
It could be really hard to get through to your child or adolescent, which may make you upset. You may yell or say things you don’t mean, which only pushes your child further away. The good news is that you can revolutionize the way you communicate with your child or adolescent with a few simple changes to your technique.
Start by trying to remember what you were like at their age. Putting yourself in the same mindset as your child may help you see things from their perspective, but what about the way that they feel? Try to remember how your parents made you feel when you were at that age and why. What were the things they sad that made you feel angry, sad, happy, anxious? Could what you say or how you act, cause the same feelings in your child?
Next, try chaining your tone and choice of words. We all know it’s hard not to yell, especially after you have told them to clean their room about 100 times. Instead of yelling, “Go clean your room right now, or else!” try saying why you would like them to clean their room and how much it would help you out. For example, try expressing your wishes with a statement such as:
“ Sweetheart, I know you’re busy with homework, but I have been working all day long and if you could help me by cleaning your room, it would really make me happy and less stressed, thank you so much!” Same request, completely different delivery – and better outcome!
Instead of talking at your children, talk TO your children. Hear them out so they can hear you!
What would you give in order to successfully communicate with your child or adolescent? Sometimes, talking to your child feels like you’re talking to a wall, going into a battle field where you are on opposite sides, instead of a team. We all know the communication with your children is key to trust, love and an overall healthy relationship.
It could be really hard to get through to your child or adolescent, which may make you upset. You may yell or say things you don’t mean, which only pushes your child further away. The good news is that you can revolutionize the way you communicate with your child or adolescent with a few simple changes to your technique.
Start by trying to remember what you were like at their age. Putting yourself in the same mindset as your child may help you see things from their perspective, but what about the way that they feel? Try to remember how your parents made you feel when you were at that age and why. What were the things they sad that made you feel angry, sad, happy, anxious? Could what you say or how you act, cause the same feelings in your child?
Next, try chaining your tone and choice of words. We all know it’s hard not to yell, especially after you have told them to clean their room about 100 times. Instead of yelling, “Go clean your room right now, or else!” try saying why you would like them to clean their room and how much it would help you out. For example, try expressing your wishes with a statement such as:
“ Sweetheart, I know you’re busy with homework, but I have been working all day long and if you could help me by cleaning your room, it would really make me happy and less stressed, thank you so much!” Same request, completely different delivery – and better outcome!
Instead of talking at your children, talk TO your children. Hear them out so they can hear you!