By Madlen Pashinian
We have all experienced it before… a child that does not listen, no matter what you do. It could be your child, a family member’s child, or even your pupil. No matter how hard we try or how much we punish them, it still doesn’t work. What is the problem here and what can we do about it?
Here are a few questions you should ask yourself about this child.
I know that it will not be easy dealing with them and their tantrums; but, you must stay strong and consistent.
You must always avoid power struggles, if you are familiar with this child, you are very well aware that they will defiantly “one up” you in anything you do. So instead of focusing on the negative behaviors, focus on the positive behaviors when the disruption in not present. For example, if they are quietly doing their work, make sure to state how proud you are of them for doing their work, and phrase their positive behavior.
With the positive behavior and completed tasks, should come with rewards. So for example if they have been wanting that video game (knowing that it’s age appropriate) you let them know if they behave 4 days out of the week for a consistent time of a few weeks, they will be allowed to play it for half an hour a day or on the weekend.
Some accomplishments are huge! So if they were able to follow directions and complete a chore, you reward them verbally and with a small reward like their favorite snack, or extra play time.
Make sure to remind them every morning how proud of them you are and how happy you are that they are your children and they always have a choice. When they choose not to cooperate, they do not by any means get a reward. You let them know that they have chosen to behave this way and this kind of behavior does not get rewarded.
With all behavioral issues, please speak to their doctor to rule out any medical problems!
Good luck!
We have all experienced it before… a child that does not listen, no matter what you do. It could be your child, a family member’s child, or even your pupil. No matter how hard we try or how much we punish them, it still doesn’t work. What is the problem here and what can we do about it?
Here are a few questions you should ask yourself about this child.
- Is the disruptive, hostile and annoying behavior consistent and aimed towards adults and authority figures?
- Does the child’s behavior disrupt their normal daily activity, either at home and/or school?
- Does the child actively defy or refuse to cooperate with teachers, parents or any other adult’s requests?
- Do they blame their misbehavior and mistakes on other people?
- Does the child become furious, spiteful and vindictive?
- And lastly does this behavior continue for over 6 months?
I know that it will not be easy dealing with them and their tantrums; but, you must stay strong and consistent.
You must always avoid power struggles, if you are familiar with this child, you are very well aware that they will defiantly “one up” you in anything you do. So instead of focusing on the negative behaviors, focus on the positive behaviors when the disruption in not present. For example, if they are quietly doing their work, make sure to state how proud you are of them for doing their work, and phrase their positive behavior.
With the positive behavior and completed tasks, should come with rewards. So for example if they have been wanting that video game (knowing that it’s age appropriate) you let them know if they behave 4 days out of the week for a consistent time of a few weeks, they will be allowed to play it for half an hour a day or on the weekend.
Some accomplishments are huge! So if they were able to follow directions and complete a chore, you reward them verbally and with a small reward like their favorite snack, or extra play time.
Make sure to remind them every morning how proud of them you are and how happy you are that they are your children and they always have a choice. When they choose not to cooperate, they do not by any means get a reward. You let them know that they have chosen to behave this way and this kind of behavior does not get rewarded.
With all behavioral issues, please speak to their doctor to rule out any medical problems!
Good luck!