Holding on to a grudge is one of the most psychologically damaging practices one can engage in. Grudges are kept on the premise of the other person being punished or hurt in some way. In reality, the person holding the grudge hurts themselves more than anyone else.
If you’ve been holding onto a grudge, you’ve probably been telling yourself a story of what should have been, replaying the incident that hurt you. Maybe you get upset each time the memory of the person or situation is triggered. Making peace with this person, and yourself, could be the difference between peace and turmoil. Forgiveness shall set you free. Follow these three steps and let go of the grudge that stands between you and inner peace. 1. Spend some time thinking about why you hold on to the pain, and the negative effects it has on you. 2. Let go of the narrative that it could have been any different. Whatever happened, happened. You can’t change the past, so don’t imagine it to be any different. 3. Release it all. Let go of the pain, let go of any ill will towards anyone, let yourself be at peace. You don’t have to be the one to dish out punishment, so make peace with the idea that you do not need revenge. Spend some time meditating on these steps, and with the idea that you don’t have to hold on a grudge forever. You can forgive without forgetting or befriending the person who hurt you. All you need is some patience and practice. Blessings, Rachel This week, May 5-11, 2013, is
National Anxiety and Depression Awareness Week. Most people don’t realize how prevalent these problems can be and the availability of help to deal with them. Despite common misconceptions, mental health problems are not a sign of weakness and those who experience them do not have to suffer alone in silence. Here are some sobering facts from the National Institute of Mental Health:
How do you make time for love?
I don’t know anyone who isn’t completely swamped with work these days. With so much to do, when do you find the time to work on your love life? How do you launch a successful career while balancing a relationship? I never thought I would say this, but my #marriagemonday tip to enhance your current relationship will require you to travel over to match.com hah! Not just a matchmaking site, Match offers some great articles via their online magazine, Happen. Today, I happen to be a contributor for a piece that addresses this very topic. Head on over to the article How To Work In More Time For Love and read my tips on how to help a relationship thrive even if you’re overworked at your job! Ladies, get out there, and buy some happiness!
Turns out, buying, and applying lipstick can help boost your mood. This affordable, simple treat can put a smile on your face well before you apply! Even if you don’t have the budget for a whole new outfit, you can still grab a lip gloss at the drug store without breaking the bank. During economic downturns sales of cosmetics actually spike! From a therapists point of view, it makes perfect sense, putting on some great color is an excellent example of self-care. I prescribe self-care regularly, which just means, doing something that makes you feel good every day. Self care doesn’t need to be an extravagant vacation, it can be as simple as strolling through the makeup isle or treating yourself to a fancy frappuccino. So for stay at home moms and working girls alike, try a new hue this week and tell me how it makes you feel! This week’s tip for an exciting marriage?
Make it a point to compliment your spouse every single day. It may sound a little strange, but imagine how much happier you both could be if you made some effort to make each other feel special. Compliments come easily when you first meet someone but it’s easy to forget to give them out as freely when what used to excite us become commonplace (like scents, clothes, or one’s laughter). Compliments make people confident and appreciative, and getting one makes someone feel like reciprocating the favor! Don’t wait for your partner to make you happy, be the one who takes initiative for the happiness of your relationship. This is a risk-free place to start. Try it for a week and see what happens! Here’s one of the top questions women ask me:
How do I know if he’s THE ONE? Let’s start by changing that to “the one for me”, otherwise I’m sure there would be a DNA test to make this whole thing a lot easier. Next, like it or not, falling in love and getting married are pretty big risks to take, sometimes things can go wrong, but the reason we take this leap of faith is because when things go right, it’s really, really great. You’ll never be 100% sure if you’re “meant to be” with this person, but you can make an educated guess and an informed decision, one smarter than “because I love him” or “we’ve already been together for so long”. Here’s my essential checklist to help you start thinking about weather or not he really is “the one”.
Happy Monday, Rachel Los Angeles Therapy Some studies are starting to suggest that whole grains can have a negative influence on your mood and overall mental health.
And here you were, thinking you were being really healthy… One of these studies suggests that whole wheat inhibits the production of serotonin. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that contributes to mood and happiness. Obviously serotonin is found in your brain, but guess what organ has an even higher concentration of serotonin, that’s right: your stomach! Believe it or not, your stomach is made of the same type of tissue as your brain, so it makes sense that what you eat can change how you feel. Am I going to eliminate whole grains from my diet? Probably not, but it’s a good idea to limit the amount of grains and increase vegetables and probiotics. There’s no study yet that shows a clear causation, so like everything else, enjoy it in moderation. Curious to read more? Find the research studies here. |